[Well Afonso likes being in relatively one piece. Plus it would be rude to punch a friend so he'll refrain for now.

Even if it was tempting.]

Alright. First of all, Diarmuid, I am not the mother. Secondly, I still veto Fonzy Jr.

[This, of course, is all slightly muffled as he's still face palming. He'd look up but he's fairly sure he's walking into more embarrassment, so he might as well keep his face hidden.]

Thirdly. If I'm anything I'd be a father but I'm not because this is an inanimate object.