oathshackledbird | SoulGemmed Mailbox

[Diarmuid hates to admit it, but Kakyoin is right on that. Easy is not something that ever seems to happen for them, though he would argue there is an important difference between 'easy' and 'easier.' He would, that is, if he felt like arguing with his friend right now. With Kakyoin already stretched so thin, that is the last thing Diarmuid wants to do.]

If talking will help, I am all ears. Fate favored me this time, so I am able to be strong for you while you recover.

[For a few minutes there was no answer. Then:]

it wasn't just my mother

jojo and polnareff were there, but not the ones i knew

my friends, but from another timeline

Edited 2016-11-08 15:16 (UTC)

[Diarmuid winces when the message arrives. It was bad enough Kakyoin's mother was one of those things, but the friends he wanted to see so much as well?

And then those friends weren't even the 'right' ones. Why did this place have to torture him so?]

Kakyoin... I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't make anything better, but...

[He's really kind of at a loss for words. Give him a second.]

it sucks

you don't have to try to say anything, that's really just the bottom line of it

i think no matter what happens i'm going to be screwed up over talking to jojo for a long time

No one is going to blame you for that. My best friend watched me die when it happened the first time. One of the last things I remember is him threatening his grandfather if he didn't help me. I can't even imagine how I would feel if he had shown up during this whole mess.

[Not to mention how much harder it would be if the Oscar that arrived was not 'his' Oscar.]

I am glad you are stepping back from everything for a while. You deserve a break.

thanks

i gave all my notes to asakura so she'll be managing general information for a while

i'll probably at least be out fighting nightmares on occasion but for now i think i'll be trying to get myself back in order

I should get in touch with her again. She asked me to help fill in as a leader type while you were gone. Since we already talked about it, I said yes and I hope I didn't let anyone down. This is a very different type of battle than what I am used to. I keep wondering if I should have done this or if doing that would have helped more.

[He knows Kakyoin understands exactly what he is saying.]

I am glad you aren't going to isolate yourself. Even if it is just coming out to hunt a Nightmare here or there, getting out will help you.

[And it will keep them from having to break down his door to make sure he is okay.]

you'll do fine. you're better than i am at keeping yourself and the rest of us from falling apart. don't worry too much.

[...]

do you want to come with me at some point? if you have a chance, i mean.

Thank you. I appreciate the vote of confidence even if I am not sure I agree.

[He and Kakyoin have that doubting streak in common.]

I would love to go out hunting with you. Just let me know when and I'll be there.

okay

i'd feel better with someone rather than on my own, anyway

To be honest, I do too. Of course, I am the guy who is always saying these kind of things are done better as a group. It would probably be weird if I didn't feel that way.

there's always been safety in numbers

and while there's no real shortage of nightmares it seems a little silly not to take advantage of being able to purify more than one gem at a time

[For him, it's more than just the idea of safety in numbers. It's about building bonds and sharing burdens, but he's not going to be picky about details right now.]

I don't know how comfortable I am with the idea of cleansing my soul gem with one of those seeds. It doesn't really matter if they are suppose to work similarly. It doesn't feel right.

It probably sounds cold, but I have to look at it from a pragmatic standpoint. I would rather see one used if and when we get them rather than have them go to waste. Were I ever to turn into a Witch, I would want at least one beneficial thing to come of the whole mess.

Besides, Kaname was in no condition to fight Nightmares when I used the last one on her gem, and it was in terrible shape. If any of us are in a situation like that again, it's safest to have a quick remedy to fall back on.

Not cold, logical and no matter how much I would like to argue, you are right from that standpoint.

[Madoka...why you do this?]

So we keep them for emergency back ups? That actually sounds like a good idea if they can be stored safely while we are waiting to use them. Is Madoka doing okay now?

I don't know what a safe way to store them would even be, but if we can figure one out it'll help when we inevitably run into another Witch someday.

I think she is? She seemed better, last I talked to her.

We need to know more about them, but I don't know if there is anyway to safely test them either.

[Where would they even start and how would they make sure they don't turn into the kind of people who were doing the tests down in the dungeon?]

That is good to hear. I wish she would think about taking a break like you are, though.

I doubt there is and I don't want to try. It's best that we don't push something like this when we've no clue what we're doing.

...I hope she does. She deserves one too.

You're probably right. We are just going to have to keep our eyes open for any new information we can find about them in other ways. ... Considering you and she are alike in the overworking yourselves department, do you have any ideas as to how we could get her to take a break?

I'm not sure. There must be some way to convince her, but I really don't know what it is.

It's all right. This kind of things is pretty personal. Even if you had an idea, there is no guarantee it would have worked. I think once things settle down a little bit, I'm going to do a post to see if anyone would like Hatsu's number. I know you wanted it given out to more people and this seems like a good time to get that done.

That's a good idea. Asakura should have it now, and I know Kaname does. So if anything happens to me, the rest of you won't lose contact with her.

There are a million reasons why we shouldn't have left you with the duty of being her only contact. I just hope she doesn't get tired of all the calls that will suddenly be coming her way.

I don't think she'll mind. She seems to honestly worry when we don't call her for a while.

That's good. It must be hard for her having to handle things on her end alone and then worrying about us on top of it. With how much she has helped us, the least we can do is keep from adding to her worries.

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